Ouch!!!

I might say that it's over but still it is a part of me...
Though months passed, the same old feeling is still in me...
Yes I love him still... Was it yes I said?? The way I feel for him
makes me really confused,, seemed like my life has stalled
for over a decade.. And suddenly the realization that I should still go
on with my life has sank within... I don't know what to do... He really got into my
nerves... It's like a wound that never fully healed....
Do I deserve this fate?? What have I done to have all these mess... My life seemed
to be cluttered... My knees are trembling and it's getting hard for me to breathe....
I haven't fully recovered yet, and what I found out is something that inflicts me
so much pain...I don't know whom to call to give me console...