Monday, June 13, 2011

I want to write!

      These past few days I've been really having the urge to open up my blogger account and write. For the past year that this site was introduced to me I already made not one or two, but three accounts on blogger. One for my private use. No followers at all. The other one was for public viewing, I actually recommend it to friends so that I could ask for their feedback. The third account is this one, the first that I made which is open to few close friends who introduced me to this site. Some articles maybe personal but I'm ready to open it up to them.
     As I was saying, I really wanted to write these past days because there were a lot of things that happened this week. These were quite personal that I wanted to write down how I feel and how would I really wanted to react to certain things, but everytime I try to access my personal account I just end up getting frustrated. I already forgot my email address and even my username for that account. I tried accessing it for a couple of times but I can't because I don't even have the slightest idea of the email add I used for that account. I have even forgotten the url or the title of the blog i made in that account.
     I think lately I'm having poor memory. I forget about a lot of things, maybe I'm just thinking too much about other things that is why I tend to forget some. I get preoccupied. I don't like it because those aren't nice preoccupations.
    I'm planning to open up a new account today for my private use. I hope I wouldn't forget it..... :P

Sunday, February 6, 2011

A New Day has Come

A New Day has Come

by Cara Vicedo on Thursday, January 27, 2011 at 10:02pm
A simple game for our team
made me know what life would bring...
You lost the game and you were asked
who's that girl you have a crush...
You didn't want to answer but I still insist
cause they do know who it is..
It is unfair that they know who
I want to know, aint got a clue...
It started so simple, time isn't ample.


 I was never expecting that it would be you...
A perfect gentleman, and so generous to be true...
Silently standing just by me...
Never expecting anything I'll give in return...
For a short moment you made me see...
A life that can make me really happy...

I don't want commitment, I can't hold on...
Can you wait 'till I'm ready?...
I like you but can't love you...
The love you have for me is real
I know that but I can't repay...

You are me and I am you...
This is enough for our start...

Just that

If there is one person I would belive in..
Surely it would be the one who is worth trustin..
A friend who would never be biased...
eventhough she needed to kick someone's ass...

She hasn't known you for so long...
But she made a conclusion 'bout you all alone...
 She said you seem like an ass...
nothing less than what I had in my past...

To forget about you is my decission...
This has been based on her conclusion...
I trust all her intuition...
I don't care about our other friends' notion...

Besides I don't like you that much...
Because I commited myself to finish things in a flash...


, January 28, 2011 at 9:49pm

For You

There is this person whom I never thought would be so sentimental. Somebody who seemed like dumb to other's feelings yet, surprisingly he is such a packrat to keep a letter that is just a bunch of crap. Imagine a guy who would keep a letter from a nobody in his life for more than 5 years just to keep as a remembrance.A remembrace of hurtful words said to him. Eventhough you call me unsweetened  cause I say things that hurt and I always start a fight I wanna thank you.... Not because you kept it, but because you reminded me of who I was before and that "Gabriella Mentality" that runs through my veins!haha

THIS IS FOR YOU:
Jerk cz u always mke my frnd feel bad but
Inspite of that you still manage to face her and
Engage yourself in fun conversations with people around you.
Versatile, that's how you maybe. cause you are a CAT officer and a varsity as well. You are highly
Energetic for doing a lot of things all at the same time. That was a long time ago, maybe
Now you've gone a long way and I hope you u've become a brandnew you!

xxxCARAxxx

January 31, 2011 at 1:31am

First Time

Always wanted somebody more matured
so that I would be nurtured...
Never thought of eying for somebody younger,
cause this could already make me shiver...

I always wanted someone with sense of humor,
but never thought of finding it with somebody who has glamor...
Graduated nursing as cumlaude,
answered math problems looking suave...

, January 31, 2011 at 2:16am

Friday, October 1, 2010

It really takes time

I've made up my mind a long time ago that he will be the one for me for eternity. I accepted all the flaws that he has; dealt everything I find out at the moment as part of the past, loved with infinity, and forgave endlessly. I chose to be blind of the reality and accept and believe all the lies he is telling
I might have shown him a heart of stone, telling him that everything is over and there is no turning back but truth be told all I said were all just lies. What I am really searching for is the effort he would exert if I show that  I don't want him anymore.

I made myself believe that I don't want him anymore. I thought it will work that way. I kept on making excuses for not putting an end to everything we had. I used to say that it's just concern for someone I used to love, that when I see him doing fine I will just leave him without a single word and find a life of my own. Without him,,,without his memories... I thought it would be that easy. I thought it's what I really wanted. I thought it's for real, until one day I woke up without even a message from him on my phone. I really felt bad. This made me realize that I've been doing these thing because I'm still expecting that he will still be the one for me. I'm confused. Or maybe it's pride? I'm just human i enjoyed the feeling of being ran after by someone who didn't even cared before. I love the feeling of being loved (if it's really love he is showing). I really can't think of a reason but one thing is for sure. I feel awful. I know that I can't be one who'll put an end to it, cause a little effort from him counts a lot for me. I may not answer his calls and messages right away, I may not see him on his first try of inviting me to spend time with him but at the end of the day I'll still give in. Yes I have to admit now, when it comes to him I'm really weak. i couldn't resist my feelings...I can't hold back.

With all this I finally realize, i can't stop this by myself alone. It really has to be him. He, and he alone could end this stupid relationship. But the pain sucks. I was not able to stand it anymore....no calls and messages from him so I tried to give him a call but his phone is unattended. I was hurt, I was mad... I wanted him back I guess... This went on for minutes, then hours. The hours turned into days then suddenly there he was again, saying sorry for not sending a word and telling me how much he loves me. I feel being played but i really missed him so I was not able to resist to send him back a message. He tried to explain himself while I pretended that I don't really care, told him that he shouldn't  have communicated with me and threw him bad words. He said that he wanted everything between us to work out well but I have too much pride that feels like he is just a trash for me. That was the last message I received from him...

Yes, I have to admit that I still miss him. I get tempted to communicate with him but then I have to endure this feeling. The pain I feel will fade away. Maybe in time..... There are mornings i look at my phone to take a look if he already sent a message and feel disappointed if I see nothing but slowly I'm getting used to it. I started with checking my phone almost every minute now there are times that I almost forget to take a look at it. I know in time things will be over. I hope...... =(